Lessons from Donnie Darko
Why I still think about them more than 20 years later...
“I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to”-Donnie Darko
I vacillate between the two, but my favorite movie is either Interstellar or Donnie Darko, it just depends on which I have watched or thought of most recently. Lately, I have been thinking more about Donnie Darko and to illustrate this, I actually convinced a friend of mine last Monday he needed to watch it. I need to follow-up and see if he has…that being said, I would encourage you to check it out if you’ve never seen it! I won’t dive too deeply into the plot here and reveal any spoilers.
There is so much to unpack in the movie and so many theories about what its meaning truly is, but in the context of this post, let’s journey back to the early 2000s when I first watched it. At the time, I was a freshman in high school, so it was helpful that Jake Gyllenhaal also played Donnie as a high school student.
Let’s go with three themes here that are most helpful 1) individuality 2) courage 3) existentialism.
Donnie chose to do his own thing, despite being labeled as weird or having others wonder why he chose to be different. That resonated with me. For whatever reason I had several teachers that didn’t seem to “get me.” So there were parallels between what Donnie was experiencing with two of his teachers, one that saw him as a unique individual capable of providing more to the world and another that labeled him as a “troublemaker.” I definitely had a couple of teachers in each camp and for different reasons appreciated their presence in my life.
On courage, there were a few points in the movie where Donnie was challenged to do “the right thing” or compelled by fate to act in a certain way, even if there was significant fear present when faced with these decisions. Again, there were a few moments in my youth when I was faced with similar decisions and watching how Donnie faced them likely influenced my development. In the 20 years that has passed since, I have undoubtedly been faced with challenging decisions and needed to make the “right decision” despite the uneasiness associated with such a choice.
Finally, onto the existentialism bit. There are underlying themes weaved throughout the movie…mortality, love, time and the meaning of our existence. Like many, I often think about these concepts. Perhaps more than others, I often wonder why am I here? Not in a negative sense…but because I have been afforded so many opportunities in my life to listen to the call of the muses that draw me towards my purpose…I want to chase why I am here, unabashedly. I will continue to do this and I appreciate you joining me on this journey. Watch Donnie Darko or if you already have, let me know your thoughts.
Be Well,
Mike
Donnie Darko.. what a blast from the past. I too often wonder why I am here… and specifically in this place. My aunt, truly one of my best friends was not doing well after the passing of my uncle. Her health had deteriorated to the point I felt she should not live alone. So the hunt for a new house began with an attached apartment so she could be close but still have her own space. My wife, son and I moved the 90 minutes away to what we felt was the best house/situation for her. Then COVID hit… then she got cancer and ultimately passed before she could move in with us. Now we have that fully furnished apartment that we primarily use for visitors. I am grateful to be where I am but I can’t help but ask why… maybe in this crazy world we live in with $3500 rents it’s best I have an apartment for my son until he’s able to afford a house. Who knows how the world will look then? Bubble tunnels of my possible directions in life would certainly be nice to see exactly where my choices will lead before it’s too late. As for a fourth theme I feel is discussed in Donnie Darko, I think it could be mortality. I have always been afraid of death despite the faith I have in there being an afterlife. The loss of my aunt, again, one of my absolute best friends, has honestly made me much less afraid of death because when my time does come, I will be in the same place as her. It’s interesting how those feelings have transitioned my fears into more of an apprehension of how I get to the other side rather than simply not being here anymore. I did not expect that. I am comforted in the prospect of that loss becoming a reunification. Then again there is what I would be leaving behind.. my wife, my son, grandkids one day but again, there would be reunification one day as well. It’s definitely thought provoking.